Let me write a story based on a sentence you send me!

To practice my freelance writing, i'm selling personalized stories of at least 300 words each for $3.99 each!
I figure it'll be a nice pastime! Here's the first story I wrote:

Elizabeth realized she had made a big mistake moving to this alternate universe because her life had been much better in the universe she came from. She had thought the new universe would be awesome, since she had been born into a world where kids sit for 6 hours a day in school, being taught useless information that would be easily retrievable from your local Wikipedia page. Now, in a world without teachers, she was surrounded by empty headed-primitive minds who couldn’t tell you what 2 + 4 is if their life depended on it. As she walked through the streets of her small Connecticut town, there were no cars. There were no power lines. There were no obnoxious businesspeople talking to angry clients on their iPhones. In fact, there were no signs of any electronics at all. When she had wished for a world without teachers, she hadn’t realized that without teaching, there wouldn’t be most of the technological advancements that she had taken for granted her entire life. In this universe, the only inventions were created by the oddball geniuses that would appear every century or so. Saddened, she walked back to her home, lost in a world without knowledge, and learned to accept it.

Give it a go!

iFlop - Mini!

I finished my first prototype to the left, glued together and final, but it was a bit TOO obnoxious, so I created the iFlop Mini, which is below! I decided to sell the mini and keep the original because of its antiquity, but you can buy the functional mini by clicking these few words!

The iPod shuffle is 2GB and comes with the cable!

A guy walks out of a bank.......

I wrote a small play for creative writing and there's no use keeping it locked away on my computer! So why not post it!

[Dimitri, notorious bank robber of Franklin County, NH, walks into yet another bank]

[Dimitri] All right, you know the drill, EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND! And tellers, i’m no idiot. DONT hit that pretty little red button under the desk and I dont want to see anything but money go into those bags! Dont worry, i’m no octopus, i’ll live without it.

[Continuing] Oh, and while we’re here, someone turn up the heat! Here I am, coming inside from a below freezing temperatures, and this here bank is so cheap that it cant even turn the heat above 50!

[Dimitri] Dude! GET UP AND TURN UP THE HEAT!

[Dude] Yes. Ok. Sure. Sorry. I’ll listen. There. Done. Getting back on the floor.

[Now really rambling] That’s more like it! Now. [Pause] You know what? Before I leave here today, you’re all going to learn the etiquette of bank robbery. So here’s some life lessons so the rest of you dimwitts dont end up like this guy, about to be knocked unconscious by yours truly.

Lesson 1: When a bank robber moseys on in, you listen to the guy so you dont get shot! Like, even if the guy’s holding a nerf gun, be scared! Those things hurt, man!

Lesson 2: When a bank robber asks the room a generalized question, the closest person [glares at “Dude”] gets up and does what he says!

[Teller 3 starts making impatient and aggravated sighs]

[Changes tone and becomes hurt] You people need to learn this stuff! Like, here I am, trying to make a living, and you’re all being so rude to me! It really does get to me, man! You dont understand! You think I want to walk into a bank and risk getting arrested?! You dont know the stress I’m under! Why dont you take that into consideration next time you’re in a bank and someone wearing a mask comes in! Put yourself in his slash her shoes and imagi-- [cut off]

[Teller 3] Can we JUST give you your money?! I have a 3:30 appointment at the nail salon and I KIND of want to leave!

[Dimitri] Oh, all right. You’ve heard me lecture for long enough. And here, put the money in this reusable bag. I wouldn’t want to harm the environment - even if these bags are made with the same thing as the rest of em......

[Teller 3 is glad to see that Dimitri cares for the environment, so she grabs as much money as possible.]
[Teller 3] Here you are, no inks, no buttons, whole 9 yards. We get the money back from the Federal Reserve anyway. And hell, they just print some more out. [Sigh]

[Dimitri] DOPE, PCE

[Dimitri walks out of the bank, stops, collapses of a stroke.]

[Some guy in the distance] He died on the way to the hospital and left his cash, which was deemed unsuspicious since it was in a reusable bag, which would help his 8 kids go through college and start their life anew.

Who's winning the presidential campaign of 2012? Youtube knows.

That's right.
Ron Paul is.
By FAR.


(To anyone willing to argue, Rick Perry skewed the video views with his anti gay advertisement, so a smaller sample size is shown in the video views category. No one likes him anyway. Dr. Paul wins if you disregard Perry because of that particular video anyway.)


See the interactive graph here:
youtube.com/politics

Ebay, at its finest.

So I discovered a practically hidden category on ebay...
No, it's not the "Adult" section.

"Weird Stuff." The category righteously defines the obscure items listed here.
Here are a few that stood out. Feel free to buy any of them, because I dont think i'll be reaching for my wallet any time soon.



This 1960s....um....crazy laughing lady thing is a pretty $25,000

"Life-Sized Shakin' Butler - Shakes When You Pass!" for a nice $995

"Our beautiful hand crafted one piece dungeon, is three pieces of furniture in one.This piece is a multi-position St Andrews cross, table, and stand, all in one. It is capable of being used as a fully functional cross with movable head cushion, and removable foot board. And in a matter of seconds can be changed to a table. But, what really makes this piece unique is that it can be used in every position between cross and table. To make it even better, the head pad can be moved to the side to turn it into a very nice side ways stand. Let your imagination run wild. You will find new uses for this piece for months to come!" Only 870!

"Do u wish for anything from the mighty lord?As Jewish believe if you put your wish on a note and put it inside the kotel(western wall) the wish will come real.If u want we will take your wish and put it as close as we can to god.Send me a wish by mail or message me, And in 48 hours with in payment your wish will be on a note in the western holly wall (the kotel) of the grate temple." $2000, but um. Whoops! Forgot to mention that you have to move the building out! "The winning buyer will incur cost to have the building moved or may disassemble and reconstruct on their location. Seller incurs no cost for removal"  For a bit over $20,000, this Triceratops replica skull could be yours. What a conversation starter that would be...... Honorable mention: "Be my facebook friend," which sold for a pretty penny.

An update on why there have been no updates

Since i've last posted, I have had a baby sister, countless projects and family visits.
But that's enough on my life. Back to blogging!

IFlop prototype 1

It's an iPod shuffle hidden in a bunch of floppy disks. The clips are temporary until I get glue .

This is why I hate Mass Media.

I bet that woman wouldn't take is so kindly if her daughter died from the Gardisil vaccine because her school nurse said "Honey, if you don't get this vaccine you could die!" In which her child succumbed to social pressure and took it, without her parent's permission.

Absurd you say? It's legal in California to pop a kid with a vaccine without their parent's consent.


What is the Gardisil vaccine? Glad you pretended to ask! It's a disease you can only catch if your 7 year old is sexually active. Did you hear that right?

They're giving a vaccine to elementary students for a disease that you can only get if your kid is going around having unprotected sex at age 5. 

GOLD STAR FOR THE GOVERNMENT!

Why am I going on a giant rant over Gardisil? It killed over 20 girls. Oh. Who forgot to mention that on FOX news.

Global Warming's a gimmick and you're all idiots for believing it.

Watch this. If you watch the entire thing, hell, watch 10 minutes, and you still believe in global warming, go climb back into your Prius and cry about it.

Video: It's funny because this is EXACTLY what's happening 14 years later.

And don't tell me that's not true.

I love how people only care about the law when it involves their free music?

Yes. I'm a TAD bit concerned about the government when in control of ANYTHING in regard to the internet.

But HELLOO!

You all already allowed the government to have an internet shutoff switch.
You all already allowed the government to wire tap you
You all already allowed the government to enter your home without a warrant
You all already allowed the government to revoke habeas corpus.

(If you dont know what that was, I suggest you look it up)

You all already allowed the government to give children the HPV vaccine without their parent's consent.
(The same vaccine that killed more than 47 girls thus far.)
You all already allowed the government to test geoengineering by spreading chemicals on all of us.

(I can go on.)

Zipbuds: The best headphones under $50

It all started last Christmas. I was given a pair of Zipbud headphones. From that moment on, I would no longer use my perfectly functioning Skullcandys.

The zipper design was far more elegant than the cheapo branded ones you can buy at Walmart and the overly inflated ones you can buy from Bose. Plus, they extend far enough that you can actually SHARE headphones with someone else without worrying that you'll rip them out of the other person's ears god forbid you venture more than a foot from their head.

The bass, treble, etc...... Why comment on them! Obviously they surpass others if I'm writing an entire review on them!

Unforgettably, I plugged them into my ipod a few months ago and found them to be mute. When I contacted the company, they sent me a new pair right away. Another few months pass and once again, bad luck me. They quickly sent me a new pair! (I hope you're noticing a trend.) About a week ago, it happened again. I sent them all my previous pairs in attempt to diagnose why this was happening.

Meanwhile, they sent me their new version - which is better than all the rest!

Now don't mind me. I am an example of anecdotal evidence - Meaning that this is not a trend with other buyers.

What you should note however, is their amazing customer service. Plus, you should give it some thought to get yourself a pair. I may not be Cnet, Consumer Reports or Gizmodo, but damn it, these are the buds to buy! With any other company, I would have steered clear of getting a second pair. With Zipbuds, my sisters and cousins all have a pair. Now that's something.

Sincerely, a happy customer!